Something interesting happened to me the other day. I was D-friended on facebook or DFB’d if your texting. Yes, D-friended is my new made up word. It’s when one of your facebook friends removes you from their list of friends.

Now this shouldn’t come as a surprise. I mean, I have 2,283 VERY close friends on facebook. Some I know quite well, most I will never know by name (I’ll explain that later). What surprised me most was that I was D-friended by one of my real facebook friends – again, if your texting: RFBF.

I am pretty thick-skinned, or at least I have always thought I was. But on the other hand, I have always been sensitive to what other people are feeling. So I began to think; was it something I did, or more likely, something I said – which is usually the case these days. It was weird. One day we’re FB Friends, and the next we’re not. It was tough to get discarded in a click. But in today’s world, should I expect anything more?

I realize now, I was having to think on a whole new level of relationships. And for those that know me, you already know I have enough trouble keeping up with the real relationships I have. So would I be emotionally ready for this, let alone have the time and/or patience for it? The latter being a more likely scenario.

At first I was hurt. I was happy to include her as my FBF (again, facebook friend – try to keep up). Nothing out of the ordinary. Just your typical FB impersonal, hey-everybody-look-at-me correspondence. Then one day she was gone. Was it me? Was I posting too much? BTW – you post more than once a day and I hide you (see FB settings for Hide). Back to my friend – we still text each other, we still talk when we see each other, but I was D-friended. What did I do?

I have only D-friended a few people. The most recent was some rambling psycho-poster who took a special interest in me. And when I say special, I mean “special” in the biblical sense. Then there were a couple that I had to D-friend because I didn’t want one of their FB-friends to see or have any access to my page, my information or my friends. If it is any consolation, I felt bad about D-friending these people based just on their association, but then aren’t we judged by the company we keep?

OMG! Judged by the friends we keep! The thought was a revolution to my FB mentality. In our daily lives we surround ourselves with people we admire,  who have similar interests and beliefs. Basically, little versions of ourselves. Or versions of how we perceive ourselves to be. Sorry – that’s a different discussion. Anyway, are my 2,283 friends all like me? Not a chance. But we are connected by some similar interest. Mine being art related for the most part. And I will say, I actually have met some interesting people that I like getting to know – in a facebook kind-of-way. And there have been a couple of people that I have actually met for coffee. Weird, I know. But in terms of business contacts and networking – it works.

I got a phone call the other day from a guy who was calling from Phoenix, because a friend got my FB post in Paris. He sent it on to him. It was all business related and successful at that. But back to my 2,283 and counting friends. I probably have been getting slightly more distracted these days by my FBFs. In fact, I have programmed FB onto my iPhone, which I am beginning to regret. It’s hard enough to answer emails, text and voice messages, but now 2,283 of my closest friends get sent to my phone anytime they post a message. Which has been making it even MORE difficult to return – let alone answer calls.

But today, more than ever, we all need friends. Do we need 2,283 friends? I don’t know. Can you ever have too many friends? I think facebook knows. They have put a cap on that number at 5000.  So there you have it. We are only allowed to have 5000 friends. I am already fretting what’s going to happen at 5001. What am I going to have to say – “Sorry, I can’t be your friend, I have enough right now.” Or, “If you would be kind enough to take a number, I’ll get back to you when I have room for you.” But both sound a little elitist. I know, I’m getting ahead of myself here, but I’m a big picture guy. I suppose I could start Tom Burns 2. But then I would be managing a second set of friends. And there goes any shot of getting a returned phone call.

So maybe my D-friend has already realized this. Maybe she was realizing that too much information is really what it is – too much information. Maybe she doesn’t care that I had lunch in Santa Barbara, that I was off to another gallery opening or on my way to another great party (that she wasn’t invited to). Maybe she realized her life was too hectic, and keeping up with 2,283 friends was too much for one person. Maybe she just wanted to concentrate on her life – her real life.  So it’s NOT me. It wasn’t something obnoxious that I said or anything that I have done (this time). It wasn’t my witty or trivial posts. It was her wanting to remove herself from just my FB life. Whew, and I thought it was all about me.

Not that I like to lose any friends, but I can take solace in my 2,283 and counting friends that will lend me an e-shoulder to cry on. Sign me,

Making Friends in a Click,