I can never run for President of the United States. I am not sure of a whole lot of things in life. But the one thing I am sure of, is that no one will ever refer to me as Mr. President (excluding the one time I stayed in the Presidential suite in Vegas – but that stayed there). No, sadly the world will never benefit from my reign as the leader of the free world, mainly because I might be a tad too opinionated about a few things. Yeah, go figure.

 I couldn’t run for President because I actually have a life. I have had my share of fun – so to speak. When did it get that in order to run for office, you had to be a holier-than-thou-goody-two-shoes. I come from the philosophy that you gotta’ do a couple stupid things in life just to know you’re real. And, of course, the important thing is that you learn from your stupidity. You move on – and you become a better person from the experience. When you relish your stupidity and you don’t learn from it, and you continue to repeat the same mistakes, well then, you’re just a moron. And God knows there are plenty of morons running around.

 I, on the other hand, have a perfect excuse. As an infant, I remember my mother repeatedly saying to my dad, “…oops, honey, I dropped the baby…again.” I adore my mother, and who can blame her, those martini glasses were not condusive to carrying around a baby. And now that I think about it, that would explain my disdain for amusement park rides and my love of olives.

 Anyway, back to the political thing.  What really concerns me is the unachievable platform of perfection we have set. I believe we are all born innately good. Throughout our life we choose or follow different paths and make different decisions which take us all on our own individual journeys. But not a lot of people live Mother Theresa lives. I am sure we would all love to have a great report card when our time is up. But real people make real mistakes.  And my concern is that we are filling Washington with politicians and lawmakers that are one of two kinds: not real or good liars. (Please refer to paragraph one, fourth sentence.)

 It’s interesting to look closely at the people who have created the standards.  From politicians to religious leaders, some of them have taken pretty hard falls. I don’t take pleasure in their downfall (most of the time). But here’s a little lesson, when you take the hypocritical oath of office and screw up big time – on your spiral descent, sometimes it helps to be a little humble and truthful – just a suggestion. What I find more interesting to watch is not the politico free falling – it’s the rapid distancing by the same-party players and the ensuing feeding frenzy by the opposition. Which in turn reinforces the standards – weeding out the damaged soul to fill the seat with someone MORE to their sameness.

 I know that may seem a little harsh. But I think the standard is foolish. And I know in my idealistic world everyone should get along, and people should be forgiving and accepting of our differences – blah, blah, bleeding heart blah… The point is just let people be themselves, have an opinion that doesn’t crucify them. And I know that not all opinions are right, but they are what they are – opinions.

 There is a reason why you go to Alaska to find your Vice Presidential running mate. I mean how much trouble can one get into with a bunch of snow and elk?  So now we have a woman running for Vice President of the United States and potentially could be the next President, with the experience of managing a small town in Alaska and has a forest (Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper & Trig) of children. Why? Is this the best candidate with the best qualifications or is she the best candidate with the fewest experiences that could come back to haunt her?

 I have always wanted to be more of a political activist than I am. Maybe movies romanticize it. I know it’s a lot of hard work, thankless hours of dedication to a cause, with baby-steps of progress, and you’d be lucky to see any actual change happen in your lifetime. Or maybe I just haven’t found the right cause. But I think now I have. I need to ban the breeding of politicians.

 That’s right we need to stop the madness. Stop politicians breeding more politicians. I think we need to stop politicians from sleeping with other politicians, both figuratively and physically.  Case in point: if the Bush family isn’t a poster child for the need for more education on protected pre-political sex, then I don’t know my ass from an elephant.

 We need to help educate politicians that life exists outside of the Beltway. That real people have lives that are not centered on themselves or their life-long goal of re-election. We need to set-up a help line where politicians can call anonymously for advice on dating outside their ethics.

 So join with me on my new activist mission. Help me stop the madness in Washington.  Our tag line could be: Condom-nation of all Politicians – Stop the Breeding.  Help me eliminate the sameness of thought coming out of our lawmakers.  Same party politics for any age drinkers is unlawful.  SO let’s make our politicians think responsibly.  I want to make being politically correct – actually correct again.  Who knows? This might just be the starting point of my political career, a jumping point to the presidency – or NOT. Sign me, not a political maneuver, just…

Political manure,